I see colors like you hear jetplanes (crocodiletears) wrote,
I see colors like you hear jetplanes

Once again, I find myself living in the same city as an old school rapper...

Seattle is of course the home of Kurt Cobain and Jimi Hendrix, but until the other day I had been only vaguely aware that Sir Mix-a-Lot was from here. What happened yesterday? I was listening to the radio, which I've been doing a lot more recently in hopes of finding a station up here that plays Radiolab, and Sir Mix-a-Lot's song "Posse On Broadway" came on. It's not just vague references to being on the south side, which I am, but detailed directions on how to get from my house to Broadway, one of the main strips in Seattle. So here are the lyrics to "Posse on Broadway" annotated as they relate to my life:

Me and Kid Sensation and that home away from home
In the Black Benz Limo with the cellular phone
I'm callin' up the posse it's time to get rippin'
The freaks a need a sunroof to keep you sucka's trippin'
Everybody's lookin if your jealous turn around
The AMG kick keeps us closer to the ground
we're gettin' good grip from the 50 series tires
the Alpine's bumpin' but I need the volume higher--
cause the 808 kick drum makes the girlies get dumb--
we're rollin' Rainier,[1] and the jealous wanna get some--
Every time we do, the sucka M.C.'s wanna battle--
I'm the man they love to hate, the J.R. Ewing of Seattle--
Picked up the posse on 23rd and Jackson[2]--
headed for the strip, yes we're lookin' for some action--
the limo's kinda crowded, the whole car was leanin' back--
Maharaji's watchin' T.V. with two girlies on his lap--
On Martin Luther King[3].....the set looks kinda dead--

we need a new street so posse move ahead--
we all look kinda' SWASS the crew you can't forget--
the Mix-a-lot posse co' rippen' up the set--

My Posse's on Broadway........

UhhhRrrollin' with my posse we're gettin' kinda' bored--
there's not another posse with more points scored--
we don't walk around like criminals or flex like big gorillas--
my homeboy Kid Sensation is the teenage lady killa'--
Maharaji's on the def side dancin' like a freak--
the girlies see his booty and their knees get weak--
Larry is the white guy people think he's funny --
a real estate investa' who makes a lot of money--
Clockin' lots of dollas' we all got gold--
cruzin' in the Benz ain't got no place to go--
wheelin' 23rd[4] we saw nuthin' but thugs--
the girlies was too skinny from smokin' all them drugs[5]--
cause the rock man got 'em and their butts just dropped--
the freaks looked depressed 'cause the Benz won't stop--
at 23rd and Union[6] the driver broke left--
Kevin shouted Broadway it's time to get def--
my girl blew me a kiss, she said I was the best--
she's lookin' mighty freaky in her black silk dress--
the closer that we get, the crazier that I feel--
the posse's on Broadway it's time to get ill--

My Posse's on Broadway.........

Cruzin' Broadway and my wheels spin slow--
rollin with my posse is the only way to go --
the girlies by the college[7] was lookin for a ride--
we tried to pick them up but we had no room inside--
we put them on the trunk, we put them on the hood--
some sat up with the driver they made him feel good--
the posse's gettin' bigger, there's much too many freaks--
the muffler's draggin', my suspension's gettin' weak--
Now the posse's gettin' hungry, and Mix-a-Lot's treatin'--
we stopped at Taco Bell[8], for some Mexican eatin'--
but Taco Bell was closed, and the girls was on my tip--
they said, "Go back the other way, we'll stop and eat at Dick's"[9]--
Dick's is the place where the crew hang out--
the SWASS like to play, and the rich flaunt clout--
posse to the burger stand, so big we walk in two's--
we're gettin' dirty looks, from those other sucka crews--
Kid Sensation dropped a $20, and didn't even miss it--
skeeza from anotha' crew, she picked it up and kissed it--
her boyfriend's illin', he went to slap her face--
My homeboy P.L.B. co' sprayed the boy with mace--
'Cause I never liked a punk, who beat up on his girl--
if you don't have game, then let her leave your world--
We took the girl with usssssss....with him she rode the busssss....
she gave the boy the finga', and the sucka starts to cussssss....
boy I gotta def posse, you gotta bunch of dudes--
you're broke co' cryin' bout the rock-man blues--
you beat up on your girl, and now you're all upset--
she's with the Mix-a-Lot posse, on the Broadway set--

My posse's on Broadway.........

[1] Ranier is south of where I live, right off of the Goodwill where I have gotten almost all my furniture, and also where the vet is that Derek and I will take the cat we are probably getting to.

[2] This is my bank and local grocery store. Also, there's a Starbucks here now, which there probably wasn't in 1988.

[3] I honestly have no idea why they'd turn and go over to MLK, it's the opposite way from Broadway. Unless they're going to the Grocery Outlet.

[4] This is the street I live on, and as they were on 23rd and Jackson, and given footnote 6, it is more than likely they are going directly past my house.

[5] Actually the neighborhood has cleaned up a lot, and while there are still drugs, I see a lot more people smoking crack in Belltown.

[6] The state run liquor store, also the police 'drop in center', also Derek and my first sublet in Seattle.

[7] From the location, this has got to be Seattle Central Community College, rather than UW, Seattle U, or Antioch.

[8] This is sadly almost the only "Mexican" food in Seattle.

[9] Dick's is the shadiest looking burger place ever. There are always people dressed like street punks hassling each other and fights out front. Think of the Taco Bell on Pacific Avenue at night, but if it was planted into a big city.
Tags: ridiculous
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